Marc Dann wrapup

The Marc Dann pustule broke this weekend, and I was too busy playing farmer and grampa to do much with it. But I’m sure all 3 of my adoring fans expect something.

First of all, there’s nothing impeachable here. Boinking your subordinates  (if they want to be boinked) is not an impeachable offense. Indeed, “the greatest deliberative body in the world” is on record as saying that lying under oath about boinking your subordinates is not an impeachable offence. Nor is hiring your asshole buddies, or aiding and abetting their stupidity. It may all be reason for buyer’s remorse among the electorate; my formerly-Democrat wife finds this all acutely embarrassing. But they elected a politician from the Mahoning Valley; what did they expect? And what will they deserve, if they return him to office? If my boss had made Strickland’s comments about “double standards”, I’d be cleaning out my office and revising my resume. But alas, the governor isn’t really Dann’s boss in that sense, since it’s an elected position. The Republican fear about Dann is that he was an Elliot Spitzer wannabe. Well, he’s taken Spitzerdom all the way (at least he wasn’t buying Utovich), but by not resigning, he’s come up short.

That’s because he’s fundamentally clueless. He claims not to understand why Utovich resigned. Well, duh! Would you want to face a work environment, day after day, where the whole office (not to mention the whole world) knows you’d been planking the boss, where everyone is whispering about you, where every raise you get is assumed by your co-workers to be the result of after-hours work? And saying that he should have listened to his wife…yeah, he should have remembered he HAD a wife. But Gutierrez was the truly clueless one. Come on, a vibrator is seldom an appropriate gift for a wife, let alone an employee. The only thing worse than hitting on your staff is hitting on your staff with bad technique. Is this guy a virgin, or what? (Not that there’s anything wrong with that…)

The only way to top this all is to find out that Dann was paying Utovich off in leftover numismatic coins from the Montgomery/Noe days.