How about an antitrust investigation of the Duopoly?

I don’t know whether to be utterly pissed that Congress is meddling in the affairs of college football, a matter in which they have no Constitutional mandate, or overjoyed because they are wasting time on it instead of ruining the economy some more.

Well, they’ll probably ruin the economy of college football before they’re done, so maybe it’s a twofer.

Is it un-Christian to win too much?

This is just weird:

DALLAS — A Texas high school girls basketball team on the winning end of a 100-0 game has a case of blowout remorse.

Now officials from the winning school say they are trying to do the right thing by seeking a forfeit and apologizing for the margin of victory.

In a statement Thursday on The Covenant School’s Web site, the head of school said, “It is shameful and an embarrassment that this happened.” He went on to say that Covenant has made “a formal request to forfeit the game recognizing that a victory without honor is a great loss.”

Now, granted:

Dallas Academy has eight girls on its varsity team and about 20 girls in its high school. It is winless over the last four seasons. The academy boasts of its small class sizes and specializes in teaching students struggling with “learning differences,” such as short attention spans or dyslexia.

But clearly they were going to lose anyway. It wasn’t even sporting for the two teams to play each other. But since they did…how many times in basketball can you roll up a score like 100-0?

UPDATE 1/26: The coach has been fired. Now Covenant can hire the loser they want.

So what’s the problem?

…with the Buckeyes taking over Michigan?

COLUMBUS, Ohio (APee) — The fight is on in Ohio to save the buckeye tree from heading north to, of all places, Michigan.

Environmentalists say global warming threatens to change the habitats of many plants and trees, including Ohio’s iconic buckeye tree. They say climate changes likely will push the growing range for the Ohio buckeye tree farther north.

Now I can see why Michiganders would want to keep a poisonous chestnut look-alike out of their state. But what’s in it for Ohio? Besides a way to rope football fans into the global warming scam, I mean?

Good news for Afghans

Rohullah Nikpai brings home Afghanistan’s first Olympic medal EVER...a bronze in taekwondo.

Yay! Congratulations! It figures it would be in a martial art…

Excellence not allowed in Beachwood OH

15.5% of Beachwood residents are of Russian ancestry. Clearly, there are some unreconstructed Soviets in there.

Beachwood has cancelled its annual 4th of July Rec League All-Star Game for 9 to 12 year olds.

In a letter to coaches, Assistant Recreation Supervisor Frank Vicchiarelli announced that the decades old tradition would end because certain kids were being singled out as better players than others.

Clearly, some players are more equal than others. We can’t have that. But isn’t that the point of an All-Star Game? Maybe they should have an all-bench game, for the kids who really suck.

No joy in Mudville

Baseball is the only sport I care anything about. Well, that and women’s figure skating, old lech that I am. And I don’t even care much about baseball unless we’re winning. “Oh, there’s a postseason? I guess I have to pay attention.” On the way home from Saturday’s King’s Noyse concert, I heard the third-inning bloodbath. So I felt I really had to watch Game 7, just in case we won. My wife graciously gave up the TV; it’s so rarely I watch the thing, not like her ex with his football addiction, and she found her Dark Shadows tapes in the barn and has been going through the whole run, so turnabout is fair play. I went to bed at 10:30, when it was 3-2; yes, we could have pulled it out, but I had a feeling. And as I learned in the morning, my feeling was accurate. “We lost,” I told my wife as her bleary eyes opened wide in shock that I actually turned the Hellevision on. “What do you mean, ‘we’?” OK, just for a moment I entered Herd Mind; can’t a guy have some fun occasionally? After all, it’s the All-American Sport. Which is why the players all have Hispanic and Japanese names. I didn’t mind losing the series so much as losing it with extreme prejudice. The Indians were humiliated, and showed they were not the team to face the Rockies. OK, maybe next year.