My new BFF came back to church

Remember this guy?

He was back yesterday, right at the beginning of the service. I tried not to make eye contact, but he came right up to me. I said, “I’m worshipping now; talk to me later.” “Later” in his mind was the beginning of the Epistle. I told him I didn’t have anything, and he left. Then of course the Epistle was about caring for the poor. “Thank you for the whap across the face, Lord; may I have another, Sir?” So I prayed for him, because anyone who would disrupt a service needs that. Mark had reported the first incident to the security guard, saying, “You should know what this congregation looks like.” I’ll be charitable and assume that meant “not scruffy”.

At least he wasn’t stealing purses while people took Communion.


One Response to My new BFF came back to church

  1. kishnevi says:

    Sunday morning at the gas station, I was approached by a woman asking for my loose change. I said I didn’t have any, and she went away. She approached several people while I was there, but got nothing. As luck would have it, I paid by credit card; usually I pay with cash. Staff at the gas station seemed to either not know she was there or didn’t care if she hassled customers. However, it’s the cheapest station around, so I’ll still go there, panhandlers or no.
    You would think a panhandler would have the sense not to go to a station whose customer base is clearly not interested in spending money needlessly.

    Afterwards I thought of some “better replies” I could have given her:
    1) Honey, if you want people to give you something, you need to sound desperate, and not like you’re asking to borrow their cigarette lighter.
    2) Didn’t get enough johns last night?

    Saw an article over the weekend in the Herald which claimed a survey revealed
    1) only a small percentage of homeless people panhandle (supposedly less than 5%)
    2) a large majority (somewhere in the 60 percent range) of panhandlers are not homeless, but when asked say they are living with girlfriends, relatives, etc.

    And as for the shrine of St. Bernadette: there’s a Yiddish proverb along the lines of “not only did he steal everything he could from the synagogue, he even stole the 10 Commandments”

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