“Poole — the town with a Christmas tree that you can wipe your feet on”

That’s not the piece of anatomy that came to mind, actually.

Imagine a 33 ft high cone covered in Astroturf. Is that a Christmas tree? It is in Nanny State Britain:

Last year Poole boasted a Norwegian fir draped with strings of coloured lights. It cost £500 and continued a decades-old tradition. The replacement, which is constructed on a metal frame overlaid with what appears to be artificial grass, cost £14,000 and comes with built-in fairy lights and hidden speakers to play Christmas tunes that will put shoppers in the festive mood. But the only mood apparent among shoppers who saw the tree yesterday was a bad one.

The tree was commissioned by the Poole Town Centre Management Board because of fears that a real one would pose a hazard to shoppers.

H/T: Mike Soja, via McPhillips.

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