That’s not the piece of anatomy that came to mind, actually.
Imagine a 33 ft high cone covered in Astroturf. Is that a Christmas tree? It is in Nanny State Britain:
Last year Poole boasted a Norwegian fir draped with strings of coloured lights. It cost £500 and continued a decades-old tradition. The replacement, which is constructed on a metal frame overlaid with what appears to be artificial grass, cost £14,000 and comes with built-in fairy lights and hidden speakers to play Christmas tunes that will put shoppers in the festive mood. But the only mood apparent among shoppers who saw the tree yesterday was a bad one.
The tree was commissioned by the Poole Town Centre Management Board because of fears that a real one would pose a hazard to shoppers.