taking no prisoners

I may be in love…

in Pottawatomie vs. McGhee, Kagan argued that prosecutors should not be subject to lawsuits if they manufacture fake evidence which results in innocent people going to jail.

Let me reiterate that: Elena Kagan believes prosecutors who lie in court to convict innocent people should not be penalized for their actions. Elena Kagan believes perjury is a crime only for ordinary citizens, not for officers of the court. And Obama wants “that same kind of leadership” on the Supreme Court.

In other news, the economy still sucks and every level of American government – federal, state and local – is broke. So in honor of Elena Kagan, Barack Obama and their firm commitment to justice for all, I’d like to offer a modest proposal to cut government costs: let’s abolish the criminal court system altogether, and replace it with a big red-white-and-blue top hat of the sort Uncle Sam wears in patriotic posters. Next time a crime is committed, we’ll collect the names of all minority men in the area (and a few especially unpopular white people), dump their names in the hat and then pick a name or two out at random. Whichever name we pick will thus be dubbed “the guilty party” and locked in prison for however long the crime they never committed warrants.

Why not? If the American court system is fine with imprisoning innocent people, why force prosecutors to waste time and money creating a frame job first? Let’s just cut out the middlemen and put the innocent directly in jail. And Kagan can file an amicus brief explaining why this is just fine, and Obama can praise her for her integrity, excellence and passion for the law.

And when a reader comes back with an Eichmann defense for Kagan’s position:

She was willing to argue it, TIO, and I don’t buy “I was just following orders” as a justification for evil. Frankly, if she found the notion appalling but still argued in favor of it that makes her the worst kind of whore, one who will sell out her principles for money and throw the very notion of justice under the bus. So fuck her, and fuck Obama too.

Preferably with a pine cone saturated with the blood of an AIDS patient.

I would, however, support her appointment to Supreme Court janitor— I’ve already said she can indeed be trusted with authority over toilet-bowl mold. Just not over any lifeforms more advanced than that.

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3 Responses to taking no prisoners

  1. kishnevi says:

    That’s actually a miststatement of the legal position, btw. The second paragraph of that quote is deeply wrong. The case, if I rememember it correctly, is about the right of the accused person to sue the prosecutor who set them up. And if you think a minute, you can see how easily that can be abused by some (guilty) convict trying for a get of jail card or simply wanting to get back at the folks that put him in jail.

    The obligations of a fellow prosecutor to prosecute for perjury, and the obligation of the state (and federal) bar associations to disbar, or at least suspend, him all remain untouched and in force.

    The real problem is that prosecutors and bar associations seem to routinely ignore their obligations in this kind of case. The problem is not that no penalty is possible; the problem is that no penalties are actually sought by the people who should be seeking them.

  2. jeffreyquick says:

    OK, she’s weak on law. But she still has style.
    So…what would you do about lawyers protecting their own when they screw up? What’s the legal equivalent of “the thin blue line”, and how do you break it?

  3. kishnevi says:

    The only real possibility is to place the responsibility for disciplining them with people outside the profession. Or at least by non-locals. There is where the DOJ Civil Rights Divison would come in handy.

    This seems to be a good write up of the case. You’ll notice Her Solicitorship is far from alone.
    http://friendsofjustice.wordpress.com/2009/11/02/are-prosecutors-ever-accountable/

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