Modest proposal of amendment to Peter King’s bill

GOP Rep. Peter King has drafted a bill to ban law-abiding citizens from carrying firearms within 1,000 feet of government officials and federal judges.

It sounds like he’s on to something here. But I have a hard time with the “knowingly” part. There’s “should have known”, and all kinds of other dodges here. Let’s just make it 1000 feet and be done with it. But of course, you never know where you might encounter a perp government official, and it’s unjust to arrest somebody for breaking the law when they don’t have the information needed to avoid breaking the law. So I propose the following amendment:

“Every government official protected by this bill must, when outside of his domicile, wear a bright yellow stripe down the back and front of his torso, of such shape and brilliance to be visible 1000 feet away. Failure to do so will be punished with the same punishment given to violators of the other commandments in this bill.”

Now, many would protest that this amounts to drawing a target on every one of those politicians. Such insensitivity and use of inflammatory words like “target” will not be tolerated.


6 Responses to Modest proposal of amendment to Peter King’s bill

  1. kishnevi says:

    I would suggest instead of the yellow stripe, a bright orange jumpsuit. This would be equally visible, and have the added bonus of keeping them sartorially prepared for their rightful place in society.

  2. jeffreyquick says:

    That would also work, but might lead to a confusion of real criminals with work gangs, escapees and the like. Besides, the yellow stripe down the back has a certain piquancy.

  3. pax says:

    Along the same lines, I think we should just add an amendment requiring them to notify every concealed carry permit holder of their intended whereabouts any time they want to go out in public.

    Why should I become a law-breaker just because my elected representative decided to go to the grocery store without notifying me?

  4. jeffreyquick says:

    I like it! It’s good for employment; they’ll have to hire servants.

  5. Steve Skubinna says:

    They should also be required to wear a device that sounds a constant warning siren.

  6. Jeffrey Quick says:

    I thought of that…but I’m a musician. There are definite limits to how far I will go to “protect” our Public Servicers

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